Tuesday 4 Oct 05 - Immunisation

Shame, her injections were mean (she had them at about 11.15am)– We both balled. She had 3 needles and one horrible oral one. They gave the oral vaccine first, which was disgusting for her, she jerked and screwed up her face and tighened every muscle she could, but was so good and swallowed it. The doctor then pulled off her pants and got me to hug her close and hold her leg very still or the needle would jerk around and be really sore. She burst out crying and I felt so mean to betray her like that when she'd been so calm and happy and had no idea what was coming. They then did her arm just as she stopped crying and then made me turn her around to do her other leg. She’d stop crying between each one, and then be pricked again – shame - she just looked at me with such sad mournful eyes - my heart broke - I'd already been crying along with her since the first injections - if only I could take them for her.

We then came home and she had a little sleep. I had to wake her up to go to our mother's group. She was a little sad when we got there, so I fed her and she seemed happyish for about 1/2 and hour, just watching everyone, but then she started crying in ernest (2.15pm), and nothing would help. Not interested in the boob, not happy in burp position (which she almost always is even if everything else doesn't work), not happy up or down, moving or still, entertained or cuddled, sung to or not - each would quieten her for a few moments while she reassessed her situation to see in thee change had fixed the problem, but each time would obviously discover that it hadn't. After about three quarters of an hour, I took her home and got some baby panadol from the chemist on the way, by this time she was screaming inconsolably. I got her home and she was so hot from crying, and arching her back, and not opening her eyes, but with tears streaming down. She wouldn't even consider a boob, and just cried with her mouth open so wide my nipple was lost inside - not even touching the edges of her mouth. She didn't even seem to notice it was there. She was so hot and sweaty, so I stripped her and wiped her face. She was not wearing much and I'd also been told not to cover her feet for 48 hours (to help her control the fever), but she felt warm. Her temperature was only 36.5 though. Shame, these beautiful blue mournful eyes full of tears just kept looking up at me whenever she was crying slightly less, and I just couldn't figure out how to make her happy. I figured out the dosage of panadol and how to use the syringe and quirted some down. Evenutally after about 10 minutes (about 1 1/2 hour from when she started - 3.30ish), she began to calm down, and to drop off to sleep. She was still not interested in the boob, and kept heaving and making those noises after you've cried for ages and waking herself up to cry a little again. My heart ached - I love her so much. I was worried as I was supposed to feed her every 3 hours at least, to keep her hydrated to fight the germs and probably resulting fever. After she'd been asleep a while, I put a little blanket over her. She was better in the evening and slept pretty well that night.